August 16, 2010. Exactly a year ago. I was at this crossroad. But unlike any other crossroads in my life, I was not confused when I was here coz I already know where I was going. I had to take the left path for me to able to go the place that I wanted to go, the Full House (the location of the drama of the same title). After my exploration of the Full House, I went back to this crossroad and took the right path, which would lead me to the Sad Sonata House.

Sometimes I wish our crossroads in life are like this, we know what to choose or if not, we can still go back to the same crossroad and take also the other path. But life is and will not be like this. We have to choose what path to take and U-turns are kind’a not allowed. ๐Ÿ™‚


cotton candy in the sky

those cotton candies that can’t be eaten…

those white cottons up in the sky…

those snow floating above…

iย want to see them again…

i want to feel their presence again…

i want to fly again…

์šธ์–ด. ๋˜ ์šธ์–ด. ๋‹ค์Œ์—… ์›ƒ์–ด…

๋งˆ์Œ์ด ์•„ํ”„๋ฉด ํ–‰๋ณตํ•œ ์•ฝ์„ ๋จน์–ด๋ผ๊ณ ? ๊ทธ๊ฒŒ ์ง€๊ธˆ ์•ˆ๋œ๋‹ค… ๊ทธ๋Ÿผ… ๊ทธ๋ƒฅ ์šธ์–ด… ๋˜ ์šธ์–ด… ๋‹ค์Œ์— ์›ƒ์–ด… ๊ทธ๋ ‡๊ฒŒ ๋„Œ ๊ดœ์ฐฎ์„ ๊ฑฐ์•ผ…. ์ง„์งœ๋กœ…. ๋‚  ๋ฏฟ์–ด…

์œผ์ด๊ตฌ~! ๋ฏธ์นœ๋„˜๊ฐ™์•„…

Not every feeling can be expressed in words. Not everything can be explained. Sometimes you just have to accept that things exist the way they exist and there’s nothing you can do about it. Like pain… Like unexplainable pain… Let them exist. Let them penetrate your whole being. Let those tears come out. Cry some more. Afterwards, laugh as hard as you can. That way you’ll feel better. That way, I felt better. ๐Ÿ™‚

(Don’t) Hold my Hand~!

Dreams. Dreams. Dreams. Portal to an unknown world. Or a mean of communicating by your inner self to you…

If I dream something vividly, one thing’s for sure… It means something. There is a message behind that dream. And right now, I want to know what that dream means.

There have been 3 dreams which includes you, him and holding my hand. Three different dreams, two were premonitions/messages. How about this last one?

1st dream. I dreamed of you holding my hand while running. We ran and passed through a lot of people and places. Until we reached my aunt’s place. We sat down and my aunt started talking to us. And when I finally decided to hold your hand tighter… That’s when I realized I’m just holding thin air. There’s no you. I’m only holding thin air.

The message: We are not meant to be. You held my hand for a while only. You are not the person to hold my hand forever. ๐Ÿ™‚

2nd dream. We were sitting in a bus going to a place we both know. You were holding my hand when suddenly you let go. I was sleeping by that time but I could feel you removing my head from your shoulder and letting it lay on the window of the bus.

The message: My friend told me the day after that you decided to give up on me. You told her you’re letting go.

3rd dream: We were riding the Viking. I was so scared that I held your hand tight. After the ride, I let go of it. But somehow, I realized that this could be my last chance. The chance I’ve been waiting for. I held your hand and dragged you somewhere. Just like how you dragged me to my aunt the first time. But when I was finally loosening my hold on your hand, you held my hand tight. So tight as if you don’t wanna let go..

I really don’t know what does the 3rd dream mean. But seriously, I’m on the state of really letting go and moving on right now. I’m driving on a straight path and doesn’t think of doing a u-turn. But why is this happening? Why do I have to dream of this? Moreover, after I told myself that I’m not gonna take a u-turn anymore, I saw this book in a bookstore. The title? “God allows U-turns…For Women” Okay. God, is this a sign? Are you telling me that I have to continue hoping coz he really is the one? Should I do a u-turn now? ย But why now? Why now that I have no intentions of returning and finally decided to continue moving forward?

Confused. ๐Ÿ˜




Finding peace while up in the mountain. It was autumn last year when my friends and I decided to climb ๋ฌด๋“ฑ์‚ฐ once again. This time we took another trail, which was actually going to the peak. While we were on our way, I saw this tree and took a picture of it. I found the scene so serene. The tree stood with the grasses being blown by the autumn wind… ^^


ย GD

GDragon? Gemdrei!

GD. A name well-known in the Kpop world. A person who has been my inspiration for a couple of years already. A name of a friend. The first letter of the syllables that I got from my mother’s and father’s name (Gem and Drei). A nickname I gave myself.

GD. Just two letters but the meanings are beyond that number. Just like anything that you see.

Anything may be very simple when you see but look closer and you’ll find it’s never what it seems to be. ~2010-02-10


On this very hot day of February 4th, I am just staying at home, pushing the buttons of my laptop to create words, phrases and sentences on the screen. Just one of those bum days I’m having and continue to have until summer classes start this April. I’m on vacation ~ sort of. I just came back from outer space, almost three weeks ago. ย School here and there starts and ends at a different time so there goes the gap and I’m free from January till March… But I’m planning to work for the time being… However, I’m still enjoying the things brought about by boredom so I haven’t started it yet.

Very good Gemdrei~! That’s so good~!

And this is being sarcastic.

I created this blog in order for me to have a place to throw all the writings and scribblings I’ve done in years. Many may not know this but I do write. And I love writing. O well, that’s except the formal papers I have to do in school. I hate writing formal papers but I love writing in abstract or in random (like this.) Aside from writing I also love ย taking photos not of myself but of places and sceneries. And I love traveling. Good combinations, huh?

Though I’ll be throwing some “trashes” here, they’re not for “recycling”. They may not “decompose” but still I don’t want other people to “recycle” them. Or maybe I could give permission, just ask. I don’t eat people, I just bite… ๐Ÿ™‚